NO Rules Apply

Farrah Perspective:

 As the springtime holidays are approaching, we enter into a whole other area of “mom guilt” or “mom pressures”.  Are we making sure our kids know the real meanings behind the holidays, or do they just think that Easter is about finding pretty, colorful eggs and/or Passover is about getting a present for finding a piece of matzah?  

Whenever I start over-analyzing these expectations or stressing that I am not doing the right thing, I think about how I was raised.  Listen, I am far from perfect and I certainly wouldn’t want to copy every single detail about how I was raised (sorry mom & dad).  However, there are a few things that I just think my parents did right, but I am not sure how they did it.  

Yes, I went through 13 years of hebrew school, had a Bat Mitzvah, went to temple on the high holidays, fasted on Yom Kippur and didn’t eat bread for Passover.  BUT that is not what I reflect on about the holidays and it’s not the reason why I feel so strongly about instilling the same values in my children.   When I think about hebrew school, I think about how I would chit chat the whole time and bring snacks to share with my friends. My Bat Mitzvah memories are about how awkward I was and how I hated the attention.  Temple on the high holidays were made much more enjoyable since Baba would sneak in lots of food for my sister and I when we were still too young to fast.  We would sneak to the back room to eat it. Thats what I remember. I’ll never forget that when we were fasting, it was the only time my parents took naps.  On Passover I think of Baba’s gefilte fish and the smell of my mom’s turkey cooking. I think of my Zaidie's singing and I think of Baba's chocolate covered matzah.  

So, the mom challenge at hand:  how do we make sure that the holiday is important and special enough to our children to continue these traditions, but keep it exciting enough that they really want to and don’t just feel obligated?  Nothing makes Baba “kvell” (feel happy and proud) more than to see my sister and I mushing up icky raw fish just like she always did.  Nothing makes my mom “kvell” more than to see my sister and I setting our tables, buying the food and working so hard just to make sure this “yontiff” (Jewish holiday) still “feels” (and smells) the same.  Nothing would make me “kvell” more than to know that I am ingraining the same traditions into my children. SO how do I do that?

I think the answer is that you just have to keep doing what feels right for you, and not worry about what’s right for anyone else. So Happy Passover, Happy Easter and Happy any other holiday you might be celebrating.  Use this time to focus on what makes you truly happy!

While I just can’t bring myself to share the secret family gefilte fish recipe (mostly because there are no measurements),  I have included one of my favorite passover recipes! Maybe it will become a part of your children’s holiday memories!

Passover Chocolate Mandelbrot

Ingredients

2 cups white sugar

1 cup pareve margarine

6 eggs

2 3/4 cups matzo cake meal

3/4 cup potato starch

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

2 teaspoons white sugar

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a large cookie sheet.

2. In a large bowl, cream together the 2 cups sugar and margarine until smooth. Beat in eggs one at a time, mixing well after each one. Combine the cake meal, potato starch and salt; stir into the creamed mixture. Mix in chocolate chips. The mixture will be heavy. Form into 2 long oval loaves. Place onto the prepared baking sheet. Sprinkle the top with a mixture of 2 teaspoons sugar and cinnamon.

3. Bake for 50 to 55 minutes in the preheated oven, until a toothpick inserted into the center, comes out clean. Once it cools a little slice and turn pieces on their side and make again for another 10 min to make more crispy.